Google is coming out of the gates with something kind of like an office suite. I don’t know. The whole announcement sounds like a big snoo-zers. Duh moment of the day: it will be add supported. I mean, c’mon, Google. Is that the future of everything? When the fuck are people going to actually buy anything? There’s even a big trend to put up AdWords ads for web pages that are AdSense supported! WTMF? If ads are so frickin’ effective then why aren’t tv’s handed out for free? Maybe if they were only locked to one chanel they would be. Maybe they just never thought about that. And by “they” I mean “your mom”.

It’s like this. I exist in the third millennium. If a person fulfills that requirement then Google most likely owns part, if not all, of that persons balls. If Google wanted to put the squeeze on a person, they could cut them off from their AdSense account, or AdWords, or (God forbid) their Gmail account. If Google suddenly hated Brazil they would just have to shut down Orkut and that country would fall to its knees. Google offers a lot of services which are convenient, but the ones that really put the pressure on the ol’ egg basket are the ones that you the user have to invest in. Like AdSense. I am now invested in that. I make room in my budget for a certain amount of income from AdSense. If that is cut off, it’s like I’m fired. If Google wanted me to be making no Benjamins at all they not only would remove me from their index but from AdWords as well. Bah! I fear you Google, yet I lovingly place my balls in your massive hands.

You were beat up as a kid so I’m sure the idea of blacklisting the web page owned by the company owned by the bully that gave you so many wedgies is appealing in the way that your mom fitting you for pants is appealing.

The idea is simple. Still, I’ll go slow. Send obvious spams to Gmail accounts. The email should contain the URL for that company. Users will mark the email as spam. If Google is worth its hype, it should take note of which emails are flagged as spams and then punish any URLs enclosed therin.

You now have your revenge, but you’re still a spaz and that guy will always be better looking than you.

Bidnessweed be tearing Google a new one sayin Google gotz tha attenshun span of a masta-b8-n teenager playin’ unreal tournament. But fo realz, what’s they point? That if Google tries itz hand at sumfin it gottsa like be all numba one at it pronto? Fuckin wack. I likes that Google be pushin out the productz like madd! It give me somethin to do other than h8-on mahself. Gnomesayin? Give tha Google spreadsheeetz time. Same wit mapz an gmail an shit. Givum time, G. Givum time.

Why does Google’s spellcheck on Gmail not even recognize “testies” as they playfully bat around so many of them? Dear Google, please learn “testies” as the irony is just too much for my balls to take.

Google is gay for their advertisers and they think that you clickclickclicking on your own frickin’ AdSense is bad — “its evil.” Is it evil to want to pay your mom for that blowjob? Thing is, don’t even think about the masturbatory clicks if you own a Gmail account becasue its like beating off in front of a high-powered fan. If you go to someone else’s computer like in a library 0r adult bookstore or something and click away, you had better not ever use that computer for anything along the lines of checking your email. Google will put two and two together. Same with people to whom you send emails. Google can track the IP addresses of you and all of your friends with Gmail. They can sniff out which IPs are friendly to you and therefore which ones would be suspicious if they generated AdSense revenue.