Have you heard about this shiz?  Google gettin’ all up in our grills by tappin’ our microphones, a’ight.  But, yo, Chuck, we’re louder than a bomb, know what I’m sayin?  Louder than a Google Bomb, mothafucka!  Google betta step becuase they know this be goin’ to far and they knows it.  They jus testin us, but that be like testin’ to see if a sting ray will fucking erase yo ass if you try an swims ova it.

After tumultuous litigation and countless Metallica downloads Kazaa has agreed to become a legal download service and pay $100,000,000 to the slighted and very patient record industry.

“Holy living shit,” exclaimed Skype, a voice-over-IP company founded by the owners of Kazaa. “Our heads are next on the chopping block, man!”

“Oh Jesus, son of Mary, wife of Joseph,” added Skype, wiping soppy throw-up from its quivering chin.

The record industry has announced it plans to fairly distribute the awarded money to its artists. “These artists worked hard to get where they are. They put a lot of time to write their music, tour and build their image. This money… it is not ours. It is theirs, and we are going to see to it that it safely finds its way to their pockets,” said General Music Executive in between stifled giggles.

It hasn’t happened, but fuck it would fucking RAGE. Like that fucking RSS logo that pops up in the URL bar when there’s a feed, you know? All “click on me” and shit. I go to some business page and fucking BAM there’s a the Skype button. You know I be orderin’ they productz. And then Skype shoudl ttly make some deal with like MySpace and shit ’cause you know teens would fucking call each other all the fucking time if on their horked-on-CSS page had a “Skype Me” button. it would be a goddamn omg-orgy but it would totally get Skype going. Teens. We hate them, but goddamn if they don’t have more money than they should.