I read about things like Google’s free wireless plans and I think how tightly do you want to squeeze my balls? You already have them nestled firmly in your hands with already a solid degree of pressure being symmetrically pushed on the testies. Its like how much power do they want? How long will they drink the sweet nectar of my tears? Look, Google, seriously, I don’t have much money. Why do you think you can convice me to buy buy buy when I fucking can’t can’t can’t? yes, with their wifi they will be able to track your every little scratch on the internet. Can’t I look at my Ron Jeremy pron in the privacy of my own balls?

I’m sho U Be eharin’ that Google get all phil-an-thropik on Mountainview’s azz by offrin’ free wi-fi ‘n shiz. But yo, check, they know whut up. Moutainview just that beginnin’, gnome sayin’? This be a test run. Google want to know if the infomashun they be gleanin’ frum dis exprmnt gonna pan out to that benjaminz that you know they wanna be makin’.